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One turns to the other and says, It was a beautiful ceremony, wasnt it?!. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. WebBelow, weve compiled a list of some of the most hilarious St. Pattys Day jokes, including leprechaun jokes, puns about Guinness, shamrocks, rainbows, Ireland, and all things A stroke of good luck, So a Nun, a Rabi, a Lion, a Zombie, a Leprechaun, a goldfish, a Space Alien, a pair of Siamese twins, and a blonde walk into a bar. As she lowers herself down, she farts. What did one Easter egg say to the other Easter egg? "No, my son. Too much to drink and not enough restrooms! Then he hears it hit something followed by a moan. A Shamrock Shake Q: How did the leprechaun beat everyone else to the pot of gold? Want jokes for St. Patricks Day? when he sees a small, dark figure in the distance. Manage Settings To get to the other side! and the little fela says no im just a Goblin! Here's to a long life and a merry one. Because you don't want to press your luck. That mayflower fellow? And of course, what kind of St. Patricks Day jokes would be complete without the best of the best knock-knock jokes and puns galore. What did the leprechaun say when the video game ended? A few hours into work, Paddy tells Murphy he wants to get the day off. Some horse lost its shoe! Whether you plan on incorporating St. Patricks Day crafts or activities, or even reading a St. Patricks Day book, we also think your students will The leprechaun reply's well you see me top hat don?t ya, you see me green suit don't ya, and is it not St. pattys day, what more proof do you need laddy. WebWhere do leprechauns live? How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? A: Leprechaun spelled backwards. Because they're very short-tempered! As he starts drinking more and more, he has to release the valve and goes to the restroom. A leprechaun who recycles. Q: What do you get when two leprechauns have a conversation? Theyre How come you can you never borrow a few quid from a leprechaun? Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: antony_basketball_35, Mriley, jasminduncanson, dyson917, harlemshaker16. Thats good, said Sean. Classic Saint Patrick's Day Jokes They reach the first monestary and knock on the door. Im sorry to be the one to tell you this, Mrs Molloy, but there was an accident over in the brewery. You cant do that, says the Irishman. What do you say to someone who just got peed on by a leprechaun? With that in mind, here are ten hilarious Irish dirty jokes. The couple is in bed when the phone rings at two am. Pat. All bunged up A lad from Clare went to his Because only a few of them could pass the bar., Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher in the national school in Westport? The leprechaun wiggles his fingers and Bam! Q: What did the leprechaun order to drink at the Chinese restaurant? Game clover! What do Irish ghosts drink on Halloween? That's the Irish for You! Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato? Why did the leprechaun go outside? BOOOOOOs. The whole feckin bed by the looks of it!, Prepare yourself for this next hilarious Irish dirty joke. I was in a bar restroom at the urinals getting rid of my daily intake of beer when in walks in the shortest guy I had ever seen. Reading these really helped lighten my day. A: Hes Dublin over with laughter! Also my Mam visits this website, and I dont want her disowning me! Our next hilarious Irish dirty joke is about an Irish couple. Potty gold at the end of the rainbow. He's done it again! Some poor horse is going barefoot! A bachelor. Why are leprechauns hard to get along with? Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland? Cork is full of many things and can be one of Irelands premier spots for. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him. The father, taken aback, says, The Mother Superior answered and was taken quite by surprise at the sight. If you like leprechaun jokes youve read on this page, please share it to your favorite social media platform now because your friends will like it too.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_12',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Please Like Us On Facebook Or Follow Us On Pinterest Now, 11+ Best Father Of The Bride Toasts You Need To Know & More, 11+ Best Man Toasts & More Wedding Tips You Need To Know, Awesome Wedding Toasts & Quotes: +25 Best That Will Charm All, +35 Best Funny Dog Proverbs & Quotes Youll Find Relatable, 35+ Best Funny Proverbs That Will Definitely Amuse You, 35+ Funny Sayings So Ridiculous Youll Never Repeat Them, Icebreakers: 35+ Best & Amazingly Bad That Definitely Fascinate, Funny Icebreaker Questions: 35+ Best & Amazingly Bad, All By AI, Bird Puns & Jokes: 45+ Best That Will Chirp You Into A Smile, 93 Funny One Liner Jokes19 Best Medical Jokes About Doctors30 Best Funny Movie Quotes63 Funny Star Wars Jokes77 Best Funny Love Quotes20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines25 Funny Harry Potter Jokes27 Best President Jokes20 Best Banker JokesKevin Hart Funny Quotes. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. For his first wish the farmer wishes for all the land in Texas to. So the guy after pondering for a while agrees, Ok man on one condition you can't tell anybody about this. "Lads" says the Leprechaun, pointing to his right: "this is a wishing slide, when you slide down it, just make a wish, and whatever it is ya wish for, you'll land in it!". After the pints are placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint. The Irishman reaches in, picks the fly out, holds it up close to his face and shouts, Spit it out you little bastard.. What do you call a leprechaun who scams you? Q: Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato? Again he slurs, "Give me a drink," and the bartender says, "No, man, I told you last time, you're too drunk" Cause when I look at you my penis is Dublin. Nevertheless, we are masters of this. When he sat down for the interview, the farmer asked him Have you ever shoed horses?, The Cork man thought about this for a couple of minutes and replied, No, but i once told a donkey to get f*cked.. He was originally from Ireland before he moved to the US. What's the difference between a little guy with a pot o' gold and a big gathering where people's limbs are falling off? 1 less drunk at the party Regular rocks are too heavy. I can smell wine, Father, said the Garda. The 103+ Best Leprechaun Jokes - UPJOKE St Patrick's Day Pick Up Lines He glanced down and saw that the dwarf was hung like a horse. 'No,' said Mick. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); This is one of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud! He slurre, One jumps up on the other's shoulders, knocks on the door, and jumps down as a priest comes to answer. How do Irish cooks keep their tools organized? One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con. Why do leprechauns hate running? A: To get to the other side! He's getting hammered in a pub, and goes to take a leak. 93 St. Patricks Day Jokes To Have You Dublin Over With Laughter WebLeprechaun jokes. "You look magically delicious, and I just happen to be a cereal adulterer." I met a Leprechaun once, in a pub in Ireland. I am not, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me., An English lawyer was sat with his Irish client. If you doget offended by any of these, you need to get your noggin checked. The man answered " HEY!! What type of bow cannot be tied? I'm not going to wear green today, but I am wearing blue pants and a yellow shirt, so pretty much the same thing. Have you seen all jokes? The Amer. He got it stuck between the church doors! Q: Why did the boy lock himself in his house on St. Patricks Day? She is a keen writer of satirical articles, as well as The best things to do and The best dishes to try around the globe. Urine luck. Erin who? Q: Why did the leprechaun turn down the bowl of soup? This is the best collection of leprechaun jokes that youll find anywhere and all of these jokes are clean and safe for people of all ages. The leprechaun laughs, "You WebSt. Jokes He uses a hare dryer. What's long & green & has a low I.Q.? What do you call a fake Irish stone? That was the only cow we had, how will I feed my family?" "You've already had six Guinness draughts? You look a little differentyou have a giant round orange head. He said, well, its the craziest thing. Its no surprise that the Irish have so many dirty jokes up their sleeve, perhaps more than any other country out there, but it all comes down to our culture and sense of humour. Look up! Funny Leprechaun Jokes: 15 Best That Will Make You Laugh The Leprechaun has a massively huge dick, the guy asks "Hey how did you get your dick so big?". "OK then, I wish that I was married to the hottest woman on Earth, who lived for nothing other than the need to satisfy my every sexual desire." There was no mist. Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irish wake? After downing several pints, he heads to the loo to take a huge piss. To keep from falling in the stew! Now show me to your pot o gold!" If you have a tiny green ball in one hand, and a tiny green ball in the other, what do you have? He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter. We've got all your leprechaun one-liners right here. With no bathroom close Jim tells Bob go ahead I will be lookout. After all, its all about the humour at the end of the day. Calling a woman a "fine colleen" is likely to lead to you getting a kick in the shins. Q: What did the baby leprechaun find at the end of the rainbow? A lepre-condo. The guy reaches out to grab the leprechaun, only to miss him as he jumps back to his seat. 17 Leprechaun-Approved St. Patricks Day Jokes for Kids - We What do you say to the smartest person you know on St. Patricks Day? WebQ: Whos the worlds tallest leprechaun? A Jolly Green Giant What is it youre after? the shop assistant asked. Why do Irish people recycle? How do you start the St Patricks Day parade in the ghetto? Q: Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with? The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?". WebWhy did the leprechaun cross the road on red? To stop himself from falling into the stew. A saint pat-trick. He turns to the bartender and says, "Boy, I wish I could do that." How did the Irish Jig get started? The Scottish man says,..yeah. The priest looks from the bottle to the heavens. Plus, theres something else awesome and interesting youll find on this page. "Oh, really?" I'm in the wrong joke! Name the top three songs by leprechaun cover bands. "Whadda ya mean you don't have a tallywagger?" Oh my God she replied. Q: What do you call leprechauns who collect cans and plastic? BOOs! 62 Funny St. Patrick's Day Jokes for Adults and Kids 2023 We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Q: Why did the leprechaun climb the rainbow? Name the top three songs by leprechaun cover bands. Connect with us on your favourite social media app. Sure, they're great at shorthand! The wife comes out to investigate the gunshot, finds her husba. After three hours of unforgettable sex, Paddy says, I wonder how the girls are getting on?. The leprechaun first says, "I will grant ye three wishes, and then in return get me own wish." Who's there? Goes for a walk in the forest sees a little fella dressed in green with his head bobbing up and down between his legs, so the yank says to him are you Leprechaun? Get EVERY Halloween joke youll ever need right now and access them anytime on your PC, phone, tablet, Kindle or other device forever! A: To get to the other side, Q: What do leprechauns leave out on their lawn all summer? When it turns green! Do you know what they call leprechaun pee? A: It will be green with envy! Bob and Jim are chilling in the park when Bob has to take a shit. They also had a milk cow and what a cow it was. The short man replied now without the Irish accent, "Hmm just wondering why is a grown as 25yr old man still believing in leprechauns. Jokes A: Theyre really into green living. An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying 2 sheep in his arms. Paddy and Sean are planning to go out on St Patricks Day, but only have 50 cents between them. A: Paddy OFurniture, Q: Why do leprechauns like to recycle? WebSt. Low and behold, after a few seconds into relieving himself a very short man walks in and begins peeing in the urinal next to him. A troll, a hag and a leprechaun walk into a bar Read Later Add to Favourites Add to Collection Report. 38. Have you been drinking, Father? asks the Garda. WebThe leprechaun says, "I did that for you. This time the Englishman is really mad! A: Game clover. The first leprechaun asks, "tell me father, do you have any leprechaun nuns in your church?" A: They refuse to leave the green. The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great pot. WebA Leprechaun A little boy went to the bathroom at school, but when he went to wipe his bum, there was no toilet paper so he used his hands. Whats the most obvious feature shared by a leprechaun and a sober Irishman? Clover. What's the difference between wisdom and luck? Leprechaun Jokes - Joke Buddha Wheres my husband? Irish people regularly take the piss out of each other, but its common knowledge that the other person is joking (well, most of the time). The American guy asks, "So when do I get that big dick ?". The priest rolls down the window and a strong smell of wine wafts out. He replies, Im Ben Riordain, and I live in the flat above Paddy!'. What do you call the Easter Bunny when he has fleas? ", The american goes, "Ok, for my second wish I wanna hot looking woman!" Rick-O-Shea. He climbed out 4 times to take a piss.. Hello. Two lads were on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork. Irish Who? Go home, she is waiting for you in your bed, ready to give you the greatest night of your life." "Tip o' the Trojan to ye!" What do you call it when a leprechaun gets a free handjob? He steps up to the urinal, and this little guy, with a bright orange beard, and all in green, steps up next to him, whips out this giant dick and starts pissing too. But would you mind if I run it through my kidneys first?'. Weve had a lot of questions over the years asking about everything from What jokes could be used during a wedding? to Which are good for kids?. Q: What did the leprechaun say on March 17? "There is something sinister about putting a leprechaun in a workhouse. They like to "go" first class! You see, were normally a three-man team. I did my best to bring you only the best ones. What is the Zombie equivalent of a Leprechaun's Pot o' Gold? Knock, knock! Lullabies, dreams and love ever after. Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with? My wife made me a green hamburger today to celebrate St Patricks Day. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie. Who's there? One liner tags: animal, political, sarcastic, St. Patrick's Day. What's a leprechaun's favorite kind of music? Ye can see 'e's 'angin' out. If you want a dick thisbig, you'll have to be willing to take it. Q: How can you spot a jealous shamrock? What's small, lucky, and green all over? Mother superior answers the door and is surprised to see two leprechauns, one looks older. What do the Irish dream about? Why did the leprechaun go outside? Because theyre always a little short, Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a survey about tea drinking. We specialise in Bizarre Irish News, Viral Videos and general Irish Craic. A: Small talk. A: A rainbow. I went out drinking on St Patricks Day, so I took a bus homeThat may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before. None of these leprechaun one liners are dirty. He believes in bringing about positive change through good-natured humor and innovative technology. Do leprechauns make good secretaries? The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a raspberry again, SPLBLBLBLBT! This time the Englishman is really mad! Ive some bad news and some terrible news for you.. A leprechaun walks into a bar. After several - Unijokes.com She is excited to share what she discovers with her readers. He goes up to the urinal to piss as well and is shocked at the guys big dick. What is Irish diplomacy? The bartender asks the priest what he wants. Lepre-converse. Because they're always a little short. A: Real rocks are too heavy! Although youll find heaps of funny Irish jokes above, theresheapsof jokes that have been added by readers in the comments section. The urinals were occupied, so the man opens a stall. 1. Crypt o' Currency. ", And The leprechaun goes, "Done! Shortly thereafter a short man walks in and does the same in the next urinal over. Leprechaun replies "Not to worry laddy, besides who would believe me anyway." (Sister Matic). He was just minding his own business when I sat down on the stool next to him and ordered my drink. WebEli's Dirty Jokes - Episode 30 - Lucky Leprechaun GoPotatoTV 137K subscribers Subscribe 3K Save 498K views 13 years ago Notice Age-restricted video (based on A: Shortstop. ", What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun? OK none of these jokes are going to be overly filthy, because this is a site for all the family. Whats the bad news? I've been sharing them in letters with my son who's in bootcamp. 100 Best St. Patrick's Day Jokes - Funny Irish Jokes - The !, No she replied. 45+ Hilarious Jokes To Share On St. Patricks Day A nun comes out and the Leprachuan asks in a thick Irish accent "sister you gotta help me. Thats 150 miles from here., His wife asks who it was, and Paddy responds, It was some eejit asking if the coast was clear.. Visit our page here: St. Patricks Day Knock Knock Jokes. What do leprechauns love to barbecue? I thought to myself as he approached the urinal that there was no way that he would be able piss in the "adult" urinal, but he s. Why are leprechauns always laughing when they're running? These jokes are kid-friendly, but their groan-worthyyet undeniably sillypunchlines are guaranteed to make the adults giggle too. An Irishman was in New York patiently waiting to cross a busy street. A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this some kind of a joke? WebFunny Leprechaun Jokes: 15 Best That Will Make You Laugh & More. So, he shouted over to the lad digging the holes, I dont get it why do you dig a hole, only for the other lad to fill it in?, The lad wiped his brow and sighed deeply, Well, I suppose it probably does looks a bit odd. A Shamrock Shake. Now this man was overjoyed as he was only farmer that barely got by. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe in Ireland? Leprechaun Jokes Q: Why shouldnt you borrow money from a leprechaun? Are you willing to takea dick this big?" I did my best to bring you only the best ones. Made in USA with Irish parts.Watch the latest video from Sturdy (@thedirtyleprechaun). The cop stopped after a few minutes and told those waiting to cross the road, Okay pedestrians, he said, Lets go. What did the leprechaun say when He frees her and takes her home, where they make passionate love all night. Well, you caught me, lassie! A man walks into the bathroom and sees a leprechaun taking a piss. What should that man do? In lepre-condos. Why make the Easter Bunny so lucky? Q: Why do frogs like St. Patricks Day? Since leprechauns are associated with St. Patricks Day in America, here are some funny St. Patricks Day puns. "Well, lass, we're the only ones still standing. The Leprechaun says, "Done! Q: What do leprechauns yell when they first see an Irish shoreline? The little man in the green suit says, ', He was about to cross an old stone bridge when a small man jumped out from behind a rock. Thats good says Paddy. Yes, this is another potentially offensive and dirty Irish joke involving sheep. Erin Cavoto is the Editorial Assistant at ThePioneerWoman.com, covering food, holidays, home decor, and more. A sham rock When Colm arrives at his ball, he sees a little red bearded man dressed in green lying unconscious with a large knot on, So an American college student goes to Ireland for St Patrick's Day. To sit on his paddy-o 2. Apparently, asking a dwarf why he isnt wearing his leprechaun costume was offensive. Did you also know that he enjoys practical jokes?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_11',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); Either way, the jokes about this legendary creature from Irish mythology follow below. asked Bridget. but liquor is not a pond and Im not a duck so tip your cup and lets get fucked up. I said, what have you been up to? What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river? No, the man replied. It counts as a vegetable! What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control his wife? Most Irish people are just witty by nature, and the classic one-liners and jokes are sometimes just improvised, perhaps after a few pints. Potty who? Leprechaun Jokes - St Patrick's Day Jokes - Jokes4us.com The Leprechaun replies, "If you let me put my, There was this poor Irish family, a father, mother, and their 3 sons, living on this old dirt farm. How should you greet someone on March 17? Q: Why did the leprechaun go out the door? A: He already had pot of gold, Q: What do you call a leprechaun who goes to prison? These funny leprechaun quotes might make you smile. The leprechaun looks around and says, "Saints preserve us! a St. Patrick's Day Parade Why don't you iron 4-Leaf clovers? BOOOOOOs., A Cork man went for a job at the local stables. In the dictionary. What did one shamrock say to the other when it saw a leprechaun? Sheamus drops into the local pub on the way back home from visiting the doctor. Q: What happened when the leprechaun fell into the river Shannon? Embarrassed, he apologizes, Father O'Malley was walking through the fields in Belfast when he looked down and saw a four leaf clover. Well, are you feeling any better?, asked the doctor. A: In the dictionary. He gets wet! A: Sham-rocks, Q: What is it called when leprechauns do the wrong dance move? Well you caught me lassie! St. Patrick's Day Ideas for an Extra Lucky Holiday, 62 Silly St. Patrick's Day Jokes That Give Dad Jokes a Run for Their Money, Your Privacy Choices: Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads. Paddy OFurniture. It was a real stroke of luck to be sure, A priest, a rabbi and a leprechaun walk into a bar. The guy being drunk turns around and says hold on, are you really a leprechaun? A: So they can go green. The man repied "Yes, I have 2 kids and a, At the urinal next to his. Heres one for you Whats Irish and sits outside all day and night? Surprised, he greets him. Knock, knock! WebThe Leprechaun Joke A man went to a pub on St. Patrick's Day to have some drinks with his mates. Warren anything green for St. Patrick's Day? Its faster than Dublin the dough with yeast. My wife made me a green hamburger today to celebrate St Patricks Day. Why did the elephant wear his green sneakers instead of his red ones? Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? A: He was the short-order cook, Q: What position did the leprechaun play on the baseball team? In the 12th pub, both are quite drunk by now, Sean isn't looking to good. What's the difference between a leprechaun and a hooker with 5 STD's? In lepre-condos. He's standing at the urinal and notices a very short guy at the urinal next to him. What do you call a bad Irish dance? The leprechaun laughs, "You can't do that." With a quick snap the men are on the rainbow. I havent been feeling myself lately, replied Paddy. To get to the other side. Ever tried ironing a four-leaf clover? The farmer walks out one day and finds his only cow dead on the ground. What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? He orders a huge tankard of beer and sits down right next to a leprechaun. This section is just for you. As he comes up to his stoop he trips and goes flying headlong into the bushes. A jig mistake. Good Lord, hes done it again! What do you call a big Irish spider? Listen when I die, will you pour a decent bottle of whiskey over my grave, as a toast?. "There is more friendship in a half pint of whiskey than in a churn of buttermilk." Neither exist. LePrechaun. What are you after doing? replied his wife. Please check if there are posts that match all the below criteria. ", The American says, " Ok! What does the Easter Bunny do when he gets out of the shower? Sure, they're green with envy! Two Irish couples decide to swap partners for the night. What is a leprechauns St Patricks Day Bar Jokes A: Lucky charms. Dirty jokes, to be precise, are as common in Ireland as sheep on a country road, so we just had to create a list of the best to give you a good laugh. Returning visitor? So the little lizard climbed up the tree. What do you call a potato that's not Irish? The mother superior opens the door to see the two little green men. Two Irishmen at a funeral Two Irishmen were walking out of a funeral. A: Wee-cyclers. What did the giant say to the leprechaun? Short ribs! 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