They may claim abuse, cheating, lying, and more. Any thoughts? The behaviors of my ex- deteriorated into controlling and bizarre rants. 2017: July: kids report daddy has a girlfriend. Breathe a huge sigh of reliefthat could have been you. Her oldest sons gf was pregnant, so she wanted a kid then too. When I finally had the guts to finally get away from him, he refused to divorce me or sign paper. 2. ..and if I hope (secretly) that she burns him out too does that make me a narcissist instead of hoping that she gets better and they live happily ever after? Loved his energy he was so exciting to be with. Im wondering sometimes if she was just using me as a plaything and wasnt necessarily a narcissist at all. Kids report upon coming home that both adults were sick and that they spent the night at grandmas and that the GF is now wearing a diamond ring. You have your freedom, as in you are not locked up as a result of this r/ship.i could go on and on. He needed that status of me leaving him. Nature sure what to do about a narcissist second marriage? And his 1st wife. And, make you feel extremely cherished and loved. Then why did he leave the first wife if she was a door mat? You are explaining what just happened to me to a tee. Get a temporary order. Being educated, successful at work, and healthy at the outset of a dating relationship or marriage are qualities that many narcissistic abuse survivors possess. Then one day she went she said to meet a gf of hers for lunch and then the library. He is remarried to a 28 year old who blames me for him disrespecting her. Everything, that is, except for his work. I have recently been discarded from my ex narc and its been about 3 months. All of these tactics can make them seem too good to be true. It is certainly possible to love a narcissist, support them through their troubles, and forgive them for their abuse. Having dated my own narcissist, I believe them leaving is the far better option, albeit still painful. So I got to see everything she had posted up to then. I dont know if their marriage will last or not but I care not because its not me that he is treating bad anymore. Once they have you, they will eventually drastically change. I was recovering from the loss of a parent and was physically and mentally in very bad shape. It feels good to finally get a word inbut yet not the healthiest to respond in length to his lies even in writing.How long will this last? This was very helpful. Marries me while Im 5 months pregnant. He had worked on his new girl now for about six months while we were trying to work on our marriage. They like to do the leaving first. If ever there was such a thing as virtual or cyber sex she excelled in it. So, Ive been single for over 2 years now. The most beautiful eastern european woman came into my life just over a year ago. What a f*cking head cases! I have used all my savings just trying to survive and am now collecting food stamps (thank God-I have plenty of things wrong with my health-aneurysms, emphysema, anemic and malnourished, C-PTSD; I have been going to counseling for 20 years now and other things-I live on SS and pension). She is an amazing person that has made the wise decision to leave me. a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to He refused to let us use air conditioning or heat, yet he was a wealthy man (inherited). Lied, cheats, loves attention and makes out to be one person but is completely another. Commentdocument.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "aa8fd91bafe6fcca7b8140a7bdbf1f14" );document.getElementById("i2dc42b6e0").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. Then i said, honestly for me, did u cheat during our marriage, and she got all mad and loud and said i told you before no and hung up. There is no rhyme or reason to their drastic swings. Narcissists do get into romantic relationships. The N. I was married to for 28 yrs just remarried. He was living with his 3rd wife 5 months after we separated and living with his 4th wife 4 months after leaving his 3rd wife. In case you were unsure of 4, 5 & 6, NO CONTACT WITH YOUR EXN. This sounds all to familiar. Kids report she has moved into the home. Second, narcissists are always concerned about their image and narcissists to need people more than the typical person does. I dont know if your wife is a narcissist or has other issues. Oozing with charm, passion, energy and joie de vivre I thought she must have been heaven sent to pull me out of my dark place. Once my father passed she pretty much made me responsible for my sister and shirked all parental responsibility for either of us after that. Think Narc, think Medussa. A little background? As long as her life continues to appear fabulous, she will keep this guy around. What a f*cking head case! They break you down, accuse you of everything and turn it all on you acting like they never ever cared for you . Thanks for letting tell someone what is happing. That was a genuinely awesome response. So we just deal with it. Just a thought here.the temptation to compare her new companion with you is realbut try to resist. Everything, that is, except for his work. And sexually, my God, absolutely fantastic at sex and also giving me a blowjob, swallowed, etc, like i never thought it could be that good. Look for all God has done for you and be grateful. Your narcissistic spouse may not be able to support you or show genuine emotion. By associating with others who attract attention, he ensures that he will never be deficient in Narcissistic Supply. All of the above might seem to be a harsh perspective on narcissistic behavior. When we met wow, just the most incredible woman i had ever known. Its like they seem to share the house, no family going on. Effects of narcissistic abuse can vary depending on how long one can endure these types of relationships. He also went on a smearing campaign against me but people that know him and his history knew better. We were together for 4 years and married for 1. Well after 4 years, this past fall he sat me down and told me he thought I was in love with a co-worker and had the hots for his sons best friend. Everyone should set a point for themselves where enough is enough. True love should never come with a price or expect a reward. I was mad of course, and she called him in front of me and said she cannot see or talk to him again. I am still trying to figure out why he stayed in our marriage so long. I know why he leaves work every lunchtime, leaves work early, works from home or barely talks to the rest of us any more. Ultimately, whether you are happy with such an arrangement is up to you. He spoke of marriage allllll the time yet when we met he was still married but separated, so he says. My son who spent a lot of time with his father continue to tell me things that happen and whenever I ask my husband, who I now understand is an N makes me sound as though I am crazy. He is a serial monogamist or shall I say parasite! Securing it is their dominant drive. Save yourself from any one like this. I hope this helps somehow: 1. Isnt is funny that Im not the one who rushed out and jumped into another marriage.. This My ex was engaged a month after i moved out We were still working on our marriage At least years what he said. Unfortunately, you are permanently bound to him because of the child you have together, which is the grip he is going to hold over your head & on to for dear life (only to try to sabotage you to your child in subtle and indirect ways). The Narcissist and Marriage . I think she felt reluctantly obligated caring for us while our father was alive but after, not so much. Ive noticed narcissistic people tend to call other people narcissists frequently, I was the second wife to a narcissist. We clicked immediately and talked for hours after meeting. I am fresh out of a narcissistic marriage he remarried before the ink was dry ..I too feel as lakes does. He continuously sends me emailsstating that his heart is in pieces,, what about his new wife, I mean supply?. They either leave or cheat. His children stay with me or their maternal grandmother when they are in town, not with him and call me Mom (saint mom- right!?!). They are soon to be married and are plastering their gushing love all over social media. EXACT same scenario. Poor guyhe is really nice, and she takes total advantage of him. The silence is a strange and cruel behavior that is harder to forgive, not the silence towards me, but the silence toward my daughter. So, narcissists will remarry if it makes them look good. and said she had met a customer from where she works on the bus and took him to meet her gf, but the gf got called into work so he asked my wife to go to an afternoon movie at the cinema, and she turned off her phone while there. Treated me like a king. You can never expect a narcissist to reform or get better as a consequence of getting remarried. The week before I left she was trying to get me to have her tubes unties. We adopted each others youngest kids about half-way through the 10 yr marriage (the others by then had gone to college). The career narcissist is often ruthless, demanding, demeaning and highly successful. I learned about flying monkeys. Laughed that she spends most of her time in the gym as there are so many hot guys there to choose from. A common narcissistic marriage problem: Gaslighting. Understanding the Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse | Breaking the Chain, Narcissism in Relationships | What it Means to Love a Narcissist, What to Do with a Narcissistic Christian Husband | Love Overcomes Evil, To make their previous spouse look bad or at fault for the previous relationships failure, To show they have moved on or moved up to a higher status partner, Bringing in third parties to support their made up stories (triangulation), Forgetting or not seeing things that hurt you, Spreading rumors about you to make you look bad. I wish my soon to be ex-husband could have that much insight! It finally got so bad I had to leave and counselors told me that he had clear signs of sociopathic behaviors. My mother is a narcissist, told me shortly after my father passed of cancer how shed not only lost her husband, lover and confidenant (less than a year before telling a 13 yr old me she was planning on leaving him). Run if you can; if not, your best bet is to go gray rock or No Contact (except when dealing with anything related to coparenting). But she spends all of his money, refuses to work (no kids), lives in the gym, and asked several women in our office if we knew any guys with money that we could introduce her to. I didnt know until now he was one. Very abusive, cold, unaffectionate, enjoys insulting and humiliating him in front of people (then grinning at me, as if Im supposed to enjoy her abuse as well), openly admits she married him for the money, jokes about cheating on him and taking half his stuff if they ever divorce. I started to notice he was aggressive and violent. Filed for divorce after 5 yrs of dancing with the Devil. Amazingly, he and my mother have suddenly become best friends and I have recently discovered that he has put wireless cameras all over the house at our home. wife 2 is stuck holding a bag of $hit but prob thinks she hit the jackpot. (Lets call it lazy or fearful?). After we met a couple of times, she followed me on social media (Im not sure if it was intentional). Deceit. They actually were in on it together waiting for her to close on her house so he could leave me and move in with her. But many want sex to be more mutually pleasing. He Acts Better Than Everyone Else. Simple. He had destroyed my reputation to his family who would not speak to me for the entire time we were married. I feel a certain amount of guilt knowing this marriage will end like the others have and there is nothing I can do or say to stop the destruction of another family. Then this shot of light came into my darkness so much so that I thought Id experienced a hallucination. No. They do not change their spots. even went on a smearing campaign with ex friends to talk bad about me and get discriminating knowledge about me. why should I care?..because I truly loved him and she will someday be in my shoes, Isnt it funny how most of these narcs are men! According to experts, a second marriage for a narcissist might actually be more stable than a first marriage for most people. Divorcees with narcissists tend to be overly dramatic and hostile. Stop thinking that way. Do you think if she really liked him/was in awe of him shed modify her behaviour to suit? She is the love of his life. He kept stringing me along crumbs of affection and fake futuring making me believe he wanted things to work. He was apparently so afraid to be alone that he gave the highest priority to immediately finding a new prey. He was a tenant of mine and was dating someone when I met him.